PAX: Goose, America’s Best, Honeysuckle, Popeye, Safety Valve, Fence Post, Rain Dance

AO: The Lion’s Den

By: Goose

YHC rolled up to an empty Den armed with chalk, coups, and a new idea that may or may not play out. Assuming that a 43rd birthday Q may have scared off more that just Yankee Joe, YHC started the warmup with only AB and Suckle (and a possible FNG hanging back in the vehicle love-child of Maneater’s car and the Prius). But, Pop, Valve, and Post slowly drifted in, figuring no legs meant no need for warming up, and the FNG figured there was now enough people to legitimize whatever this whole F3 thing was. Three guys standing around flags flapping their appendages wasn’t gonna cut it.

After a warmup sans side straddle hops, we grabbed coupons and slow-moseyed over to the large parking lot on the north side of the Civic Center where YHC had done the bare minimum to chalk out a few large tic-tac-toe grids (the parking lines made it pretty easy)–they were about three spaces long.

The tournament would be similar to Rochamburpee (rock, paper, scissburpees). The Pax would take turns facing off one-on-one before finding a new opponent after each round. For each face-off, Pax would have to block-and-bear to the square they wanted to claim, and then do the assigned X or O exercise before making their mark.

Round 1 (two games each round, each Pax gets a chance to be the X and the O): X is 10 2:1 X-wings, O is 20 Overhead Press
Round 2: X is 20 merkins, O is 30 curls
Round 3: only had time for one last game, so both sides did 20 leg raises

The goal was to tally your wins for the sake of crowning an overall tic-tac-toe king, all the while block-and-bearing a solid distance and hopefully burning out a few muscle groups.

The FNG was a good sport, partnering with Popeye since we had an odd number, and sticking with it after his body told his he wasn’t just done, he was “done, done”, drowning in this lovely, south LA humidity. (You know, if the Bengals and Reds trained down here, they might win a few more games.)

The focus on the games, though simple, made the time pass quickly. Though, toward the end, mental fatigue proved to be a factor in some decision-making, and some wins were given away rather than earned. But, trying to play both offense and defense with sweat in your eyes and concrete fragments in your forearms is part of the challenge. It’s what makes us better–or, maybe just humble.

COT, named the FNG “Rain Dance” (he plays basketball despite being recently retired from all things PT–see link below for the source of the name) and Suckle prayed us out.

Thanks for playing, fellas!
SYITG,
Goose