PAX: Goose, Enron, Honeysuckle, America’s Best, Safety Valve, Paradox, Teravanilli, Popeye, Pope
AO: Tuesday Tuff
By: Goose
YHC played a lot of Yahtzee while in the hospital with Coyote, and despite the large amount of luck involved in the game, YHC has been feeling a little proud of the strategic prowess he had gained over the past few months. And, given the dismal nature of the past few beatdowns, it seemed time to get a little light-hearted and leave a few things up to chance. So, F3 Yahtzee was just what the Q-doctor ordered.
After a warmup of the usuals (including some interior questions/concerns about the integrity of more than a few joints), YHC took about half the remaining beatdown time to explain the rules of the game and how the exercises worked. Here are the basics:
Two teams play Yahtzee as usual using the scorecard to track points, but complete the following exercises assigned to each scoring space after each roll:
* Numbers—reps equal the amount of pips on the dice with that number
* 1’s: manmakers
* 2: backward lunges (2:1)
* 3: x-factors (2:1)
* 4: Peter Parker Peters
* 5: step-ups (2:1)
* 6: Catalina wine mixers
* 3 and 4 of a kind: merkins totaling the points of all dice
* Full house: 25 OHP
* Sm straight: bear crawl there and back
* Large straight: block and bear there and back
* Yahtzee: 50 curls
* Chance: burpees for total of all dice
This is how the game went down (as YHC remembers it):
Team 1 wins first roll.
Team 1: “Yes! Full house! Great start. We’re gonna kill this.”
Team 2: “Large straight–let’s see, what do you do for that? Oh, dang. Block and bear there and back.”
Team 1: “Nice, this will give us a chance to get a few turns in. Ok, looks like we almost have a large straight! Wait, dang. Ok, let’s score the ones.”
Team 1 does one manmaker.
Team 1: “Ok, go again. Dang–go ahead and put a zero on Yahtzee. No exercise, I guess. Just go again.”
Team 1: “Dang–go ahead and put a zero on Large Straight…”
Team 1: “Dang–go ahead and put a zero on Four of a Kind…”
Team 1: “Dang–go ahead and put a zero on…”
Team 2: “Wait, it’s our turn. Small straight–dang, I’m kind of tired of bear crawls.”
Team 1: “Dang–go ahead and put a zero on Small Straight…”
Team 2: “Four of a kind! Wow, that’s a lot of merkins.”
Team 1: “Dang–go ahead and put a zero on threes.”
Team 2: “Wow, that’s another four of a kind! Where should we put all these points?”
Team 1: “Dang–where should we put the next zero? Is it cold out here, or is it just me?”
Team 2: “Full house and Yahtzee at the same time! I didn’t know that was even possible!”
Team 1: “Put zero on Chance.”
Team 2: “Another Yahtzee! Wow, we sure are doing a lot of reps of a variety of exercises. What a great beatdown.”
Team 1: “Vanilli, wake up and roll.”
Team 2: “Ok, we still have nine spaces left to score. But, boy are my muscles tired.”
Team 1: “YAHTZEE!! Finally!! Wait…we already put a zero there. Just put another zero on ones.”
Team 2: “What happens if you roll six sixes? I don’t see a space for that.”
Overall:
Team 1 did one manmaker and four LBC’s while Team 2 did the equivalent of another IPC. The score was 753 to 6. Some of us were sweaty. The rest of us will have to fight the urge to pull out the dice with our young children before breakfast.
Seriously, though, that was a fun format, and we may see something similar soon. Thanks for playing, fellas, and I apologize to my Team 1 teammates for the inactivity and the unsought dose of humility.
SYITG,
Goose