PAX: TeraVanilli, Pope, Safety Valve, Enron, Goose, Paradox, Honeysuckle, Maneater, Popeye, White Meat, Uncle Kracker, America’s Best
AO: The Lions Den, 10/02/2025
By: America’s Best
YHC had just competed The Mortal Kombat beatdown, and since I also had the Thursday Q, expectations were for some kind of a double-header. While I had planned something completely different for Thursday, there were signs and trucks all around the Lions Den advertising an MMA fight weekend. It was like even InYaFace Productions wanted a sequel.
And then as I was driving away on Tuesday, it was as if a small voice whispered in my ear…
“street fighter” . . .
Or it may more likely have been Paradox hollerin’ it across the parking lot.
Prolonged exposure to the Dox chatter renders it indistinguishable from one’s own inner monologue.
Either way, Street Fighter 2 was MY GAME back in the day (I never really even played MK) so my regularly scheduled beatdown would have to wait.
The First Thing:
Split into 2 teams…
Creating the teams: first, partner up. Then, partners were split— your partner is actually your enemy! M Knight Shamalan!
YHC had a big list of 5 exercises and 5 MOTs. Each exercise had 10 “X”s next to it, symbolizing 10 reps per X. Each MOT had 10 “I”s, so 10 total would have to be done per team.
At the bottom of the board were the Street Fighters. When a team finished an entire row, they could select an icon that matched the exercise. Most correct answers wins.
The exercises:
Curls
Ranger Merkins
American Hammers (2:1)
Burpees
Mike Tyson Merkins
The MOTs:
bunny hop up stairs, run back
bear crawl
Lt Dan Magic Legs
Lap around CC
lunge walk
Team 2 handily destroyed Team 1, but somehow each team only had one answer correct. So nobody won. While some may call this poor sportsmanship or even rewriting history, YHC just calls it “shut up and everyone do burpees.“
Anyway, with that part done, it was time to fight the Final Boss: M Bison
What do we know about this man? (Definitely not what the M stands for)
He’s a maniacal megalomaniac bent on World domination, probably thinks he’s better than 95% of the population (putting him in the 5%), likely trying to create one People’s Republic which he would rule.
Ok that’s a stretch, but let’s listen to Casiotone and…
Curl on 5% or any other number, goblet squat on “Casiotone.” I honestly don’t remember what we were doing between the curls and goblet squats.
The PAX happily finished that up and had just enough time for a bit of Mary complemented by a brief discussion of the complex and multifaceted aspects of the Wild Kratts’ sexual identities.
Much-needed COT and prayer followed.
SYITG,
AB
The In Case Anyone Cares Dept.:
The answers:
Chun-Li = bunny hop
Blanka = bear crawl
E Honda = Lt Dan Magic Legs
Vega = Lap around CC
Sagat = lunge walk
Ryu and Ken = Curls.
Guile = Ranger Merkins
Zangief = American Hammers
Dhalsim = Burpees
Balrog = Mike Tyson Merkins
Any questions about these designations will be fielded at a future coffeeteria/tacoteria.