PAX: Goose, Pope, Maneater, Honeysuckle, Safety Valve, America’s Best

AO: The Stage, 12-22-2025

By: America’s Best

‘Twas the morn’ before Festivus, when all through the night
Six HIMs had been waiting to get their minds right;
A playlist was carefully curated for,
Some MOT, trivia, and possibly more;
While Vanilli was farting all snug in his sack;
With Yankee Jeaux tenderly rubbing his back;
Suckle and Maneater, Pope and his Goose
Joined YHC right near the stage to get loose;
When out from the fog, ’twas not Dox and not Pops,
A Platinum 150, for side straddle hops.
A quick warmarama then time to explain
How music will bring us our Festivus pain
A trip round the loop with a mode of transport
While hearing a song of the holiday sort
If you ID the artist, I will change M.O.T.
But it’s only that once, and soon you will see,
You answer too soon, and too much time remains
The second transport can bring even more pains.
More rapid than Suckle the answers they came,
And they shouted and grumbled and called them by name:
The Killers! The Wombats! Dropkick Murphys, Pearl Jam!
Everclear, Green Day! (Don’t worry, no Wham).
Valve spoke not a work until it was time to broad burp,
He just shook his head and then said with a chirp:
“Festivus Miracle,” which changed the design
And we moseyed all the way back to the line.
From the crawlspace we pulled the old Festivus pole,
And did lots more burpees, which was always the goal.
Goose danced the can-can while we Apollo Oh’no’d
And just one more thing ‘fore we all hit the road.
Announcements and prayers while tomorrow does loom,
Happy Festivus, all… see you all in the gloom.