PAX: Goose, Wet Tap, Safety Valve, Maneater, Smooth Operator, Honeysuckle

AO: The Stage

By: Goose

YHC was excited to try a bike centered beatdown at The Stage, and the peg leg provided the perfect opportunity. An even number of PAX and high humidity made for ideal conditions as the PAX gathered in the gloom.

After a warmup of the usuals (minus SSH), YHC led the PAX on a bike, from behind, Mike Tyson Punchout style, on a mosey to the back corner of Rich Man’s Loop where a coupon-filled truck awaited. YHC had brought a second bike, which had some chain-related issues, but thankfully, Maneater had also packed his, so we had a working pair.

After unloading coupons, YHC split the PAX into what seemed to be pre-built teams, each with a gazelle (Valve/Suckle), a clydesdale (Maneater/Smooth), and a hybrid (Wet Tap/YHC). The rules were as follows: as one chosen member of each team raced around the loop twice on a bike, the rest would do a given exercise AMRAP (as many reps as possible) until the OPPOSING team’s rider finished the second lap. Whichever team completes the most reps wins the round. So, the riders need to go fast to give the opposing team less time to complete reps, and the exercisers need to pack in the reps before the opposing rider gets back.

We had time to complete five rounds, and they went like this:

1. BBSU: Wet Tap and Smooth rode on what seemed to be a friendly, conversaional cruise and finished around the same time. Team 1 (YHC, Suckle) edged Team 2 (Valve, Maneater) to start at 1-0.

2. Merkins: YHC and Valve rode, and YHC discovered that riding a bike hard enough to beat Valve is exhausting. Team 2, carried by Tap’s power-pecs, pushed their way to victory, tying the score at 1-1.

3. Curls: Honeysuckle and Maneater rode for this one, and it seems that iron legs translate into bike speed and endurance, so Suckle gave Team 1 a few extra minutes to squeeze out enough curls to win another point. 2-1

4. OHP: Tap and Smooth hopped on for the second time while the rest of us learned quickly that OHPs are harder than curls. Wet Tap left the pleasantries behind this time and finished a good bit ahead of Smooth, but Team 1 was still able to grind out another victory making it 3-1.

5. Block-weighted wife-pleasers: This is a wife-pleaser (hip bridge) done with the coupon resting on your hips. YHC rode against Valve again, and it only took about half a lap before YHC’s will-to-live tank was running on E. Clearly, biking