PAX: Cardinal, Wormer, Ralph, Carnie

AO: 4/12/25 – The Eagle’s Nest

By: Cardinal

YHC walked over to the Eagle’s Nest wondering if the 5 new PAX would return after a brutal Goose beating the week previous. The soreness chatter was strong all week, and only faded just in time for the second Q, and the first independent one of The City. 10 minutes before start time, a hard, calculated fartsack came in, yet as the clock struck 7, 3 other PAX had went against their better judgment for round 2. YHC figured that while Goose did a great job showcasing the F3 Greatest Hits, there was surely enough gold to create F3 Greatest Hits, Vol. 2.

We started with some classic Warm-o-rama fare (SSH, IW, WM, AC forward-backward-CP, HK, BK, SL).

Once the heart was pumping, the PAX were introduced to some additional F3 classic songs – Flowers by Moby (hold squat according to the “up” and “down” of the song) and Roxanne by The Police (hold plank, merkin on “Roxanne,” plank jack on “red light”). YHC has enjoyed imbuing once-loved songs with a dose of PTSD.

We then did three rounds of 21’s to test the intellectual prowess of the PAX. YHC assured them that the oxygen-deprived state in which they found themselves made counting to 21 harder than it looked. The PAX were valiant, only failing one of the three rounds. We did side-straddle hops, grass grabbers, and high knees, and only 1 penalty round of 10 burpees.

We then moved to introduce the Dora 1-2-3, where partners work together to complete 100, 200, and 300 reps of a certain exercise. YHC gave a classic 100 merkins, 200 squats, and 300 LBC’s. While partner 1 was doing the reps, partner 2 did a certain animal transport across the field before moseying back (bear crawl, crab walk, frog hop, respectively).

This is where things got interesting. Last week’s inaugural beatdown was marked by a lot of…merlot spillage. YHC had begun to wonder if a nasty stomach bug was rapidly spreading before his very eyes. This week’s beatdown involved much less merlot – just one so that Ralph could stay true to his name. However, one of the PAX mysteriously disappeared the entirety of the crab walk (YHC’s specialty) after allegedly having an emergency deuce-dropping situation. A nearby facility thankfully housed him as he did his own “squats,” and he mysteriously reappeared just as the Dora was completed, with the other PAX assisting his squat-loaded partner with the rest of the reps.

We finished with a final song, Dancing Queen by ABBA, only because the hype involved their fantastic album cover. The PAX alternated between dancing bears and dancing chillcuts for the song.

We rounded out with a few minutes of MARY in front of the Mary garden before the church bells signaled the completion of another beatdown.

COT, Wormer prayed us out, and thus completed the second beatdown of The City. Grateful to the men for sticking it out for yet another morning together, and looking forward to seeing the fruit that comes from this crew. Always a joy to suffer with such good men!

SYITG,

Cardinal