PAX: Honeysuckle, Popeye, Yankee Joe, Fence Post, America’s Best, TeraVanilli, Texaco Cat, Mom Jeans

AO: Lion’s Den

By: Honeysuckle

On a hot Thursday morning, the PAX assembled in the gloom. Mom Jeans ran from his house, warming YHC’s heart. With several PAX having the realization that while Dr Jeaux does not have a faculty lounge, he has a faculty restroom, the beatdown began. Yankee Joe stood a little taller as we started with side straddle hops. A typical warmarama ensued, with only America’s Best counting and repeating the names of the exercises. Texaco Cat clearly had a battle with a fartsack this morning, or just traffic, with TC ultimately coming out on top and arriving sometime during Tie Fighters.

YHC had been reflecting on previous Q’s as his manniversary was less than a month away. A minute feature of one prior beatdown emerged in YHC’s imagination: the gravel road that is potentially N 10th street. So we set off toward the gate where the gravel part turns into pavement. YHC was told that a “slow mosey” was a walk and not a slow run, but rather a “mosey” was already a slow run. TeraVanilli’s fears came true as we embarked on that mosey.

The first thang was a repeating series of 10’s starting at that gate and heading in the direction of the Dollar Tree. There was no intent of ever reaching the Dollar Tree, though several Pax expressed longing for the cheap plastic stuff that they could potentially purchase if we did. The 10’s were: 10 lunge walks (2:1), 10 bear crawl steps (2:1), 10 merkins (1:1). This was repeated several times, until YHC felt sufficient guilt that the PAX’s hands were torn up from the gravel and we moseyed back to the flag.

The next thang was a four corners exercise based on the four corners of the Warren J Harang Municipal Auditorium. The flags would serve as the first corner, and the PAX would listen to a song that heavily featured a saxophone part. Just a saxophone solo would not make the cut today, sorry. While this song is playing, the PAX were to do an exercise for 30 seconds, have a 15 second break, and repeat. Tabata style. Even when Safety Valve is not there, he is.

After a few tabata rounds, a mosey to the HVAC corner of the Municipal Auditorium for 20 merkins. Mosey to the RV park corner of the Municipal Auditorium for 20 Bobby Hurleys and analysis of what type of view the azimuth angle of the folding chair outside the first travel trailer provides. Finally, mosey to the early bird walker entrance to the Municipal Auditorium for 2:1 Apollo Oh-No’s, or whichever YJ variant the PAX desired.

This provided an enjoyable time for all PAX through several rounds. The Tabata exercises included mountain climbers, Freddy Mercuries, burpees, and side straddle hops to close out. Popeye remarked that he (a) could not hear the undersized speaker but also (b) hates saxophones, so YHC thought that was an overall win for him. Unfortunately, Popeye is uncomfortable even knowing that saxophone music is being played even if he can’t hear it.

America’s Best and TeraVanilli provided in depth analysis of each song. Now I know why major networks tend to avoid having two color commentators. But YHC thinks that Fence Post learned a lot.

Like F3 Cleveland on 12:00:01AM on June 1, the 45 minutes of the morning’s beatdown were gone before we knew it. Mom Jeans prayed us out. Yankee Joe awarded Clever Girl to TeraVanilli for being clever and gushing like a girl over Glenn Frey. The removal of Clever Girl revealed that YJ also had Pushup Pimp, which was awarded to Mom Jeans.

Thanks to the PAX for belonging to the city and not whispering anything carelessly while the heat was on.

SYITG,
Honeysuckle