PAX: Honeysuckle, Yankee Joe, Maneater, Paradox
AO: Lion’s Den
By: Honeysuckle
YHC knew that the PAX were expecting something epic for a two-year manniversary beatdown. With some uncertainty as to whether a dermatology appointment yesterday would leave YHC’s mobility limited due to stitches (spoiler alert: incision not needed), planning was difficult. So, all that could be relied on was (1) continuing to ride the first wave 80’s alternative music kick that Goose has been leading and (2) divine intervention. Fortunately, like a Yankee Joe / Paradox two-pronged Country Club EH, both delivered.
Yankee Joe and Maneater both beat YHC to the Den, except for the fact that YHC had visited the coupon depot at 8:30 the previous night to check on its condition as well as 5:00 the morning of to add more coupons. A quick ride home (YHC drove to the Den today for the first time ever) was required to grab some forgotten gloves. Today’s bicycle, Great Scott, was unloaded and warmarama began in a pretty typical format.
Thang 1
As a callback to an old favorite of YHC’s, a Chedda Shredda was used to transport the PAX from the parking lot to the first sidewalk. With four total cheese shreds, this took several rounds but the PAX eventually made it with a little dignity still remaining.
Thang 2
Mosey back to grab the bike and speaker, then mosey to the gravel road listening to Synchronicity II. Running the gravel road was more of a psychological move; we eventually made our way through the grassy area near the back made (in)famous by a Smooth Operator beatdown and around the basketball courts to the coupon depot. Here, as is the current fashion, the PAX would listen to songs while doing exercises dependent on trigger words. If the PAX would know title or song name, great, but YHC intended to listen to the entirety of the playlist while suffering.
–Hold Me Now by the Thompson Twins. Overhead press every line of the verse, hold coupon rifle-style during chorus
–Cool Places by Sparks and Jane Wiedlin. Calf raises while holding coupon, on “cool” or “I wanna go” do a curl. And there are lots of “cools” and “I wanna gos”.
–I Ran (So Far Away) by A Flock of Seagulls. On your six holding coupon, do flutter kicks or leg raises. Every repeated line and every “I ran” is a WWIII sit up.
–Lips like Sugar by Echo & the Bunnymen. This was on the fly, so gas pumpers for the duration and skull crushers (a la Daisy Duke) on “Kisses”
Thang 3
Mosey back to the virtual flag area. An equalizer starting with 15 was initiated and was going pretty well. Since we were running out of time around 11(?), we warped down to 5 and finished it off.
COT
Announcements. Baby wearable went from Paradox to Maneater for his unwavering support of Nickelback and thus Paradox himself. Maneater prayed us out.
I heard it through the Honeysuckle vine:
As a testament to what F3 apparently represents to our town, a lady (possibly Eagle Sunrise’s wife?) drove up as we were talking in the parking lot and expressed grave concerns about a duck family leaving McDonalds trying to cross the road to the reservoir, but were too frightened to cross Canal Blvd. We said we’d help, so she left to park her car in the middle of the road and stop traffic while we ran over to find the ducks. Since YHC drove today and happened to have some cardboard in the car, YHC grabbed it to help scare/guide the ducks across the street. While things were dicey for a moment (ducks going sideways, near attacks, ducklings flipping over), eventually we got the ducks across the street to safety with no ducks or PAX being run over.
Much like F3 was what I needed two years ago, and what many of us need, the cardboard and more importantly some willing men were there and made themselves available to do the job. Well done, and thank you for the past two years.
SYITG,
Honeysuckle