PAX: Safety Valve, Honeysuckle, America’s Best

AO: The Peltch, 03-28-2026

By: America’s Best

I checked the GroupMe again. It was about 9:45 Friday night, and probably the 17th time I’d checked it in the last hour. Crickets.
Yankee Jeaux had pointed out that the Q was open for Saturday. . .
And the chat went silent for hours.
So once again, YHC had to come and bail Yankee Jeaux out. But that’s just what a terrific guy does.
Sorry, YJ, but like they say, history is written by the Q.
My plan would be to let the PAX decide their own fate the next day, but sort of expecting no turn out at all.

Imagine my surprise and delight when both Safety Valve and Honeysuckle both drove in that morning.
No, don’t continue reading now. I want you to stop and IMAGINE MY DELIGHT AND SURPRISE.

Ok, on with it.

Waramama

The Plan:
The PAX would move between different areas, and at each “decision point,” the PAX (excluding YHC). votes between Option A or B, without knowing what the options really are.

Because the PAX was only Honeysuckle and Safety Valve, votes would have to be unanimous.
With any other 2 men, multiple unanimous votes would be impossible. With these 2, it would be inevitable.

Stage 1: The First Split (Strength vs Cardio)

Option A: “The Iron Path” (Strength)

AMRAP 8 minutes:
• 10 Merkins
• 15 Squats
• 20 Mountain Climbers (each leg)
• 5 Hand-Release Merkins

Option B: “The Wind Tunnel” (Cardio)

8 minutes continuous:
• Sprint 50 yards → jog back
• 20 LBCs
• Sprint 75 yards → jog back
• 20 Flutter Kicks (4-count)

Unanimous vote for The Iron Path. Longest 8 minutes ever.
Really thought these guys would have chosen “wind tunnel” but in retrospect, it may have sounded like too flatulent a choice.

Stage 2: The Ambush (Partner Pain)

Partner up… umm ok. Another modification here as we had to thruple.

Option A: “You Go, I Go”
• Partner 1: Bear Crawl 50 yards
• Partner 2: AMRAP: 10 Big Boys + 10 Lunges
• Switch until 10 minutes up

Option B: “Shared Suffering”

Lazy Dora:
• 100 Merkins
• 150 Squats
• 200 LBCs
(Only one works at a time—other holds plank)

The PAX again voted unanimously, choosing “You Go, I Go”
Since there were 3 of us, one partner lunged at one end, the other did BBS at the other end, while the third bear crawled between. For 10 minutes.

Stage 3: The Climb or the Crawl

Option A: “Everest”

Ladder (1→10):
• 1 Burpee, 1 Jump Squat
• 2 Burpees, 2 Jump Squats
…up to 10 of each

Option B: “The Mud Pit”

EMOM 10 minutes:
• Minute 1: 20 Frog Jumps
• Minute 2: Bear Crawl out/back + 10 Merkins
Repeat

Unanimous vote for Everest. We went one way up to 5, then came back and (because my math is bad) only got up to 9 of each.

Final Decision: “Glory or Regret”

Option A: “Hero Finish”

Circle of pain:
• Each man calls an exercise x 10 reps
• Must include at least one abomination (e.g., burpee broad jump)

Option B: “Dice Without Dice” (Best Simple Swap)

Q calls out a number 1–6 (or uses a watch second hand / random number app).
• 1 = 10 Merkins
• 2 = 15 Squats
• 3 = 20 LBCs
• 4 = 10 Burpees
• 5 = 20 Lunges (each leg)
• 6 = Lap or 50-yard sprint

This time, they decided to count down and both answer at once.
“1-2-3, ‘Dice without Dice.,” they said in unison.
It was cute. The way I imagine they might handle a “no, you hang up first” argument if they ever talked on the phone to each other.

Anyway they picked the harder of the two again. We did 8 to 10 rolls then just a few minutes of Mary.

That was it-

Triangle of Trust and someone prayed us out.

SYITG,

AB