PAX: Safety Valve, Popeye, HoneySuckle, America’s Best

AO: The Lion’s Den, 07/17/2025

By: America’s Best

“But it’s raining.”
-most of the PAX this morning, apparently.

We all were thinking it. And as the rain began to dissipate just as Honeysuckle ran in (per usual), our suspicions were confirmed. He had again disengaged the Geostorm device long enough to give us a window for the beatdown. The rain subsided just as we were finishing warmarama.

Tried and true at this point, YHC used the same design as last week for this beatdown. Following warmarama, we moseyed to the Coupon Swamp and began with curls and trivia. This time, 2 incorrect answers resulted in moving backwards rather than forwards. This turned out to matter not at all for more than one reason.

To say the PAX this morning was tough would be an understatement. They murder-bunnied through depths where the coupon was no longer visible. Water-Bear-crawled where most men would need a snorkel. Derkens, Burpees, squats, Apollo Ohnos, BBS, all in water so deep an aquacize class showed up.

Fight was left in the PAX, but time was again running out. YHC had to switch our direction to get the coupons back in time. We slugged our coupons to the depot and returned to roughly the area adjacent to where the flag usually is.

It was uncanny how the rain began to fall again just as we were finishing up. With about 30 seconds until 6am, YHC’s brain said, “ok burpees until time.”

COT, Honeysuckle prayed us out.

SYITG,
AB

Something had become obvious to Popeye– something YHC thought might have been discovered long ago. But with the revelation of his epiphany, Popeye created a true inner circle this morning, the 4 HIMs present this morning the only members. . .

. . .and Paradox wept, for he had slept in.