PAX: Fence Post, Wet Tap, Maneater, Jackknife, Popeye, Goose, BamBam, Duke, Pope, Honeysuckle, America’s Best
AO: The Peltch
By: America’s Best
Did you know that the original title of Return of the Jedi was Revenge of the Jedi? At least that’s what Joey Wagovich told me in 1983, back before the internet. Maybe more importantly, though, he also told me (spoiler alert) that Darth Vader actually was Luke’s father, back before anyone said “spoiler alert.” (and for those of you who didn’t live the movies in real time, nobody believed Vader was really Luke’s dad after Empire Strikes back—we only knew it was true after ROTJ).
And although he was my first friend, I will never forgive him for that transgression.
Moving on to present day…
I fartsacked my Q on Tuesday. It’s an odd feeling, springing out of bed, with that Big Q Energy, only to be hit from behind with “Aren’t’ you late? Weren’t’ you supposed to be there an hour ago?” That kind of thing will screw up your entire day. But at least I have the support of my PAX, right? After a couple of proof of life texts, the ribbing began. Salt was rubbed into wounds. The man was beaten while he was down. The insult was added to the injury. The cows came home to roost. And the goose was good for the gander. But at least everyone made sure I wasn’t dead first.
There is a fine line between redemption and revenge, so when Paradox texted YHC “you want some Q redemption?” all YHC heard was “you will have your revenge.”
They say revenge is a dish best served cold. But who has time for that?
And so we come to Saturday morning at the Pelch, a few PAX wandering about, opining where Dox could be. As several more men rolled in, YHC tried to play it cool, but Honeysuckle’s antennae were up… he could tell something was amiss. He could smell the Q on me like so many worker bee pheromones.
And so I quickly pulled the wipeboard from my truck and announced, “6:30, now you’re all in big, big trouble.”
Standard Warmarama, with Hillbilly Walkers added just to give everyone that “wild card” feel.
Grab a partner, a coupon, and mosey to the Thunderdome for some throwback vibes.
The thing would be a standard Dora. Alternating 3 laps around the Dome while partner completes:
50 Mountain Climbers (4:1)
100 Burpees
150 Imperial Walkers (2:1)
200 Curls
150 Merkins
100 Toilet Squats
50 Manmakers
The thing that makes the thing fun: During the Dora, songs will play. After each song ends, PAX sprint (shuffle) to the wipeboard to guess the year of that song, and assign a penalty exercise. The difference between the guess and the actual year is the number we will do at the end.
The songs were:
1. Magnetic – Tunde Adebimpe
Maneater: “Man that sounds kinda like Ozzy” The guess: 2010 (Actual year: 2025)
2. Rock Man – MK Gee
Goose: “This is definitely the Police.” The guess: 1984 (Actual year: 2024)
(and so it would go for the duration):
3. Back on 74 – Jungle. – The guess: 2011 (Actual year: 2025)
4. Looking For Something – Castlebeat – The guess: 2022 (Actual year: 2022)
5. Time Makes Fools of Us All – Father John Misty. – The guess: 2007 (Actual year: 2024)
6. Off the Ground – The Record Company. – The guess: 2003 (Actual year: 2016)
7. The Less I Know the Better – Tame Impala. – The guess: 2022 (Actual year: 2015)
YHC was so pleased with the PAX’s poor knowledge of these heavy-rotation modern rock songs that I forgot all about revenge… and how did Honeysuckle not only sniff out the substitute Q, but also nail the year 2022??
SYITG,
AB