PAX: Goose, Honeysuckle, Maneater, Brass Monkey, Bam Bam, Jackknife, Duke

AO: The Peltch

By: Goose

T’was a foggy morn at the Peltch, and though the PAX pickins’ were slim, it was about quality, not quantity as 4 solid men and 3 solid 2.0’s gathered a little farther than usual from the septic system. (The fog made the odor a little heavier and stickier.)

Warmups of the usuals, including some shoulder and wrist rolls to counteract the tightness from this past week’s activities. However, with the small number of men, we were able to count quietly so we could focus our attention on Monkey’s explanation of his baby boy’s journey to healing as well as his role in sniffing out scientific fraud on a global level and bringing the bad guys to justice. YHC was tempted to keep the warmups going–it was intense.

But, alas, destiny awaited us in the form of a golden triangle of potential glory. We armed our shoulders with coupons and marched brazenly down to the lower field. Upon arrival, YHC set three cones in a triangle array about 10 yards apart. He then placed brightly colored sheets of construction paper at each station, each with three exercises listed, Dora-style, upon them. They read as follows:

1.
100 merkins
200 plank jacks
300 Mt. Climbers (2:1)
MOT: Block and bear

2.
100 genuflections
200 squats
300 block calf raises
MOT: Murder bunny

3.
100 curls
200 OHP
300 Scuba Steves
MOT: Rifle carry

The four adult males split up, one to each cone and one ready to MOT. The tunes were activated, and while the three started on the first exercises listed at each of the cones, the fourth started MOT from cone 1 to cone 2. Once he reached cone 2, he took over the reps from the PAX there, and the latter moved via the assigned MOT to cone 3, etc., Dora-style. The 2.0’s mirrored this activity as well as possible with only three of them.

After about 20 minutes, all reps of all 9 exercises had been completed, and we moved on to Round 2. New brightly colored papers were distributed with the following exercises listed for each cone:

1.
100 WW3
200 gas pumpers
300 block LBC’s
MOT: Crab walk

2.
100 tricep press
200 one-arm rows
300 bench press
MOT: Skip

3.
100 Apolo Ono (2:1)
200 leg raises
300 SSH
MOT: Toy soldiers

After another 20 minutes of heroic activity, all PAX combined to finish out the remaining block LBC’s before gathering the gear and heading back to the flag. What remained were muddy scars and coupon dents at the three points of the triangle and well-worn tracks connecting them to one another. The glorious triangle of epic destiny had been etched into the earth, one tenacious rep at a time.

The PAX gathered back at the flag for a few minutes of Mary, which consisted of wife pleasers, Nolan Ryans, and gradually slowing penguins (a great name for an indie band). After count-off, name-off, prayer-off by Jackknife, and photo-off, Brass Monkey entertained questions from the rest of us about his current studies on human behavior in the workplace. It left YHC wanting more, but also wondering if we’re all a part of a government funded study on herd behavior in middle-aged males who are promised progress despite bad music, spicy grass, and constant criticism. I’m interested in the results.

STYIG,
Goose