PAX: Goose, Pope, Maneater, AB, Suckle, Popeye , Enron , Safety Valve , Roxbury
AO: The Stage
By: Paradox
Location:
A Stage Warmup Mosey Sometime in late April 2026 :
Goose:
Popes last few beatdowns in Thib …
YHC: chuckles..oh yea you mean like before camp when he comes back “out of shape” (wink wink , nod nod)
Goose: Na like he is about to graduate fool
Dox : oh like 8th grade ?
Goose: dox …He’s a man, he has a beard.
Dox: *deep breathing **…look I had a lot of pre workout but are you saying he’s leaving us this summer ?? He never even got to properly insult us? …*single slow tear*…Shouldnt we have a proper F3 Stage graduation?
Goose: I have reached my meaningful word count for this beatdown. Try again tomorrow. (Samuel Jackson gif face)
Dox: * sigh
Another turning point , another fork stuck in the road
Goose: it’s 5:16 man , just warmup
Dox: time grabs you by the wrist and doesn’t let go
Goose: It really doesn’t.
Goose :
Dox:
*Vitamin C Graduation Song music slowly builds in the distance
One day he was a long legged Labrador puppy we would see leading the Goslings, boundless energy and rarely a frown. Then seemingly overnight he was running 6 minute miles and making coupons look like foam. Pax from out of town would ask what the blur was and we would have to say Tom Cruise witchcraft and change the subject. Unbelievable how fast this kid grew up.
YHCs first time around Pope involved a water filled bouncy slide in a back yard. For those parents reading this you know or may have witnessed the pure unbridled animalistic reactions that a bouncy slide’s brings out in kids. Take that suns core energy then amplify it times about 20 kids and add enough sugar drinks to make Willy wonka blush.
Amongst this chaos I met the eldest Gosling. Perched at the top of the slide he commanded presence and a nuanced joy to make all ages have a safe but fun blow up adventure. Separated fights, sampled choice flatulence from his brothers and sent parent calls inside if he deemed it above his pay grade. he was in clear command and his element as a family leader.
It had me thinking about virtue amongst chaos.
It reminded me of a line from the theme in Rudyard Kiplings “IF” about keeping your head….
Duke ! Roll that pope graduation highlight reel !
Warmup
A fine mix of pax were encouraged to stretches and optional cadence while we gave final blessings of grievances to Pope….it got ugly:
“Your legs never tire”
“You skin looks great”
“Be less humble”
“Should you be a marine or an astronaut?”
We continued to really let him have it like that until YHC had to seperate everyone with the hose.
Early Thangs
We opened with our central theme, plank and merkins in
“IF”a Dramatic reading
Then yHC wanted to give pope an ancient translation to share with his friends so we did :
Creed “What if”
Plank – merkins on What if
Next, Graduation Songs
yHC allowed the pax two mini mosey Laps to consider what Rolling Stone selected as top 10 graduation songs all time
They did pretty well at 5/10 and we did 5 penalty burpees while AB built a pyramid of quibbles and Goose argued why “Tiptoe through the Tulips” didn’t make the cut.
Chests were warm but not fully burnt so we listened to one of the top 10s
“Closing Time”
Mountain climbers
Merkins on “closing time”
Finally, to commemorate the school accomplished and the years Pope was with us YHC made a circuit where we could complete 9 reps run a lap , the 9th , 10 etc in a Billy Madison format.
9 merkins
10 Toilet Squats
11 Curls
12 Burpees
13 no cheat merkins
We jammed to a compilation of classic aforementioned HS graduation songs and soaked up our time with the Popester.
Goose Prayed us Out
Pope, by the writing of this late blast I expect you to be living a full life in the blue ridge mountains with a beard and many leather bound books.
It has been a tremendous gift for our Thibodaux pax to watch you grow from a gangly youth into a man.
As a gift from our pax to you here’s my proper rip off of Mr Kiplings most famous poem to serve as a blueprint from our crew.
“WhIF”
by DoxYurd PoorEnglish
If you can keep your form when all about you pax are doing quarter merkins
If you can handle iron pax with your legs still workin
If you can be prompt but still tolerate those who missed their hops .
If you can help a man up but still bust his chops.
If you can trust yourself to Q while surfing the chatter
If you can fire the dad griddle , then sling the batter
If you can compare yourself to others and not enjoy the ranking
If you can wait on your brother and not tire of planking.
If you can hate a man’s music but love his coughing soul.
If you can serve Gods will but not ask beyond that role.
If you can fart in a general direction and expect the favor returned.
If you can hear others opinions but not be easily burned.
If you can burpee but not make burpees your master.
If you can absorb the bleep but only run faster.
If you hear Gods voice , and you sit with that choice.
If you count blessings and burdens and only rejoice
If you find yourself far from home.
If you can remember lessons of den, stage and dome.
If things get dark or you feel headed for doom
If you can remember faith only sharpens in gloom
If you know it’s not a question but a lesson learned in time
If for what it’s worth , it was worth it all the while
If you know it’s something unpredictable but in the end it’s right
Aye Pope!
Have the time of your life.
We are always here for you bro.
SYITG
Dox