PAX: Maneater, Jacknife, Lil’ Cuz, Pikachu, Black Panther, Roxbury, Teravanilli, America’s Best, Goose, Coyote, Bam-Bam, Duke, Yankee Joe

AO: The Peltch

By: Bam-Bam

It started on a somewhat wet day when the sun was already pretty bright. People began to show up pretty quickly, including Lil’ Cuz and his notorious minions, and Mrs. Yankee Jo, a lovely lady with a pretty car, white as pearls.
After the usual warm-ups, Goose got out a Bluetooth speaker for an “Irish” (AB thought it was Irish. It was actually Scottish. BIG difference…) song about the absence of a gentleman’s trousers. We did SSH for the duration of the song, and when the Scottish singer mentions trousers, we did a burpee. Afterward, the song transitioned to an Elvis version of the song, leading toward more SSH and burpees, but in a more 1950s American style.
We then moseyed to the soccer field and set up two cans on either ends of the field. There was also a small Spike Ball ® that I held as I explained the rules:
There are two teams (shirts + skins) who are basically playing keep away but are trying to avoid getting tagged. However, this can be avoided (if you’re holding the ball) if you jump when they try to tag you, or if you bobble the ball as you run. If you are tagged like a defenseless wimp, you must drop the ball and do 5 burpees (shifted to 3 near the end of the game) while everybody else continues. You have lost your purpose at that point. The ball gets turned over to the other team.
As you run, you can pass it to any of your teammates, who can run and pass it to others (passing it back is valid). If the ball hits the ground in any way, the ball is turned over, and the wimp who touched the ball last does five burpees. The team’s goal is to throw it or hit it into the can. If the ball bounces off the bottom of the can and lands outside of it, that’s 1 point (also 1 point if the can falls over in the process). If the ball remains in the can, that’s 2 points.
This game was not invented by YHC. It was founded by a summer camp in North Carolina. The campers call this ritual “2 Fun Cans.” There was certainly lots of fun and plenty of love and cupcakes and rainbows and stuff like that.
In the beginning of the game, AB proved what a true F3 eye doctor is by trying MJ trick shots every time he got the chance, and it worked sometimes, but when it didn’t, it usually ended with a pile of man on the ground next to the can. Mrs. YJ tried a few times, and actually scored, too, but that made Goose mad and YJ got dunked on. Hard. And then tackled for no reason. YJ appeared to have an injured wrist after that, and Goose probably injured himself, as well.
The Shirts (YHC’s team) looked like they were winning at first, but soon the skins showed that all those football Qs had paid off. Every once in a while, some people would switch out with Goose, who was the referee most of the time. The score at the end of the game was something like forty-something to something-teen…we weren’t really keeping track, but the skins won; that’s all we know.
We went back to the flag for a COT ant it was topped off by a prayer from Roxbury.
YHC will finish this backblast with an apology for all the injuries involved in this beatdown, such as YJs wrist…and… uh…I dunno. YHC guesses he could consider this Q repeatable…
SYITG,
Bam-Bam