PAX: Pope, Pipelayer, Honeysuckle, Smooth Operator, Safety Valve, Popeye, Goose, Roxbury, Yod’a, America’s Best

AO: The Lion’s Den, 4/23/2025

By: America’s Best

It was a time of great darkness. There was no Spotify. No Pandora. And Shazam was just a twinkle in the eye of a small boy in Homer, Louisiana.
It was a time when riding in a car meant you were at the mercy of whatever happened to be on the radio.
You had to learn to tolerate a song. Oh sure, there were some who tried to listen to CDs … but natural selection took care of everyone who tried to go through their drivers-side-visor-CD-collection while barreling down the interstate.
RIP road DJs.
Car rental insurance was necessary; driving a vehicle without presets usually resulted in one tolerable station being found. And if Collective Soul started playing on that one station, you would have no choice but to drive into a river.
So unknowingly, one would create subconscious mental lists of songs that could and could not be tolerated. Sometimes you’d have to make that reverse Sophie’s Choice — which song do I hate the most? And which can I tolerate?

But first: standard warmarama with special disclaimer for the Father New Guy. Lots of super-stoked HIMs (YHC included) to (finally) see this familiar face.

The thing:
Five stations were set up: Pull-ups, dips, derkins, curls, and goblet squats.
And because today we are focusing on negativity, all exercises performed will be negative (eccentric) reps.
A song was played, and the PAX were responsible for determining whether YHC hates this song or doesn’t hate this song. It should be noted that I do not like any of these songs. I have however, built up an immunity to some of them, likely from being trapped in a car without any other options of music.
The PAX would vote, and if they were correct we would sprint down to a far corn and back. If the PAX said that I hated a song and I actually didn’t hate it, we would do suicides there and back. And finally, if the PAX determined that I did not hate a song that I in fact did hate, we would do suicides, but with a Burpee at each turn. Because that’s offensive to me, that’s why.

The chatter during it all was amusing.
Things like: “He should hate this.” And:
“I think he can tolerate this.”
But my favorite was Popeye saying in disgust,
“Ugh. He probably doesn’t hate this.”

First song:
Bang a Gong by T Rex
PAX said: Don’t hate
But I hate it so much. We ran suicides with burpees.

Second Song:
Whoever you Are by Geggy Tah
PAX said: Don’t hate
Correct, we just ran down and back

Give it away by Red Hot Chili Peppers
PAX said: hate
Incorrect. I don’t hate that. We ran suicide

At this point the PAX somehow got into my head… maybe I had a tell? but all the rest were answered correctly

Are You Gonna be my Girl? by Jet
(Hate)

Come Out and Play by Offspring
(Hate)

Battle flag by Lo Fidelity Allstars
(Don’t hate)

Shine by Collective Soul –
(Hate… and apparently everyone hates this one).

During all of this running, YHC noticed a blur next to (or slightly ahead of??) Pope….
This FNG was moving at incredible speed. Maybe we need some new blood out here once in a while to remind us what sprinting is supposed to look like.

COT:
Countarama, name-arama, and then the very favorite Naming of the FNG.
YHC typically likes to hone in on that one interesting facet of the FNG’s “Tell us About Yourself” time. But this guy… has lived in Rome, studies multiple languages, was a powerlifter??? It was all too much to process. Luckily, Goose began throwing out foreign alphabets… eventually landing on “isn’t Yod a Hebrew letter?”
And finally my brain had a foothold. (The foot part of my brain, I guess).
Yod…a? Seemed to fit this wise and powerful FNG.
Goose tried to get deeper and we learned that the Yod looks a bit like a comma; “Comma to the Top” was briefly considered as his name, but cooler heads prevailed and we simply included that in his name: Yod’a.
And The Goose prayed us out.

Always an honor to lead,

SYITG,
AB